Came back to work with a flames!

ROARS.

I push myself, for working harder.
I question myself, for the hatred I felt.
I talk to myself, for all the problems I faced.
I smile to myself, for the freedom I had now.
I look at myself, for the unwanted fats I carry.
I remind myself, for the greed I had for money.
I changed myself, for all the treatment I felt/got.
I fear of myself, for changing into someone infamiliar.
I pity myself, for closing up from the crowd around me.
I don't recognise myself, for being cunning and heartless.


In life, I play many different roles ..

I learn, I laugh, I tear, I hate, I fall, I smile, I climb, I protect, I change.

Tag Replies:

Moma - Mummy! Don't you know that your daughter is a pretty diamond hidden behind layers of dust. Just waiting to be polish and be discovered. Furthermore, I've got my beautiful nose from my Moma, and pretty figures you & dad given me. How can I not be pretty, just need more polishing and self motivation. Dont worry, this exams wont disappoint you. I think of you when I'm studying and doing the papers. I take telling myself "must do well, make mama proud". I puff when needed, no worries. I bet you too right (: Yea, hungry man is an angry man. I'm hungry for money, so don't make me angry. HAHA!

Louise- - I miss you sweetheart. How have you been ? Did Kester pass DW your stuff yet? Yes, I got to keep going. So much more I need to lose! You're looking good too, my dear. I love my hair too. Many say that this hair style suits me better. But sometimes I do still miss my long straight hair. I didn't get any CNY clothes, didn't bother to get it. Cause I don't enjoy CNY as much. It's irritating, apart from the joyous red festive. DW taste where got not so good. His taste good lor, arbo he wont pick such a good GF (: I thought I did mention that I'm going to the tattoo show?! Never mind lah, they going to hold another one. Don't worry, still got chance to go and see those pretty inks! So how is your hair now? Still flat? So you decided on what design ink to get yet? I will be touching up my inks, maybe some time mid year then get new ink. Meanwhile, save! Meet up soon OK! and tell me about your irritating and hating school stuff. Don't hate me lah, I miss me so much lor.

Jnnette* - Hey love, how's your CNY shopping coming so far ? Got everything ready yet? I love my hair too! Got to maintain the curls! Pretty curls. Why don't your try to perm yours too? New year, new hairdo.

da* - Yes baby. I agree, they look sweet. But beneath those sweetness, takes a long way to build those grab and amendments. I love to see them this way, forever I want them to hold and smile as one! And I cant wait for our trip! (: Miss you baby.

nana - HAHA! Yea, her face so extra. We should be there main focus. not her! And little angel.. You have been so busy with work lately. Haven been seeing you home nor getting enough rest. Don't work so hard now cause you got to focus on your main job which is studies. I miss you darling, must take care okay. CNY coming. ZHU GAN ~~~ :D

samanthaa - Babe, I linked you already. Hope you're doing well and enjoy your CNY!

Amanda - Everything is good so far. Days have been fast, and spinning quickly. Hope you're good too. Thou seldom text already. But still wish you and your family well. Enjoy CNY okay. Take care. Meet up maybe some time after CNY! You stay focus too and don't always skip school (:


****

Tomorrow will be CNY eve. And I'm not as happy or excited. It's a cycle lah. Maybe I should be deaf so that I might be a little happier. I seriously can't stand those nasty sight and foul comments. Those fucked up comparison and dirty actions.

Fuck off, leave me alone.

I know that sometimes my thinking maybe selfish. Taking that the world owes me a living. But then again who doesn't? DUH! Everyone doesn't like to be called when needed. Doesn't like to be a replacement of something or someone. Doesn't feel good when dump/ left aside.

For now, nothing much matters. After so much, I learnt to place myself above all.

I can't wait for a break. Sometimes too much of others laziness keeps you so tired and endless complains. Not forgetting, strong hatred at the same time.

Heading out with Delia Darling. Byes!

I got this big hatred towards Sales Person!
And those fucking lazy, only use mouth but no action humans.

Irritated.

Can't wait for my long weekend.

Brain bursting!!!
Heart gonna stop pumping!!!
Lungs gonna stop breathing!!!

I'm currently rather lost in what to blog about. Mind seems so blank, empty. So what I type is just some random thoughts filling in my stoned brain.

With the festive nearing, more work to be done. However, economy heading downwards, the pace in the office slows down. Time passes by like snail! It's so dry, rather lifeless.

Everyday it's work then go home. Sometimes when Cat is free, he will drive me around. But I really think that I'm draining my time away after work. I feel like spending my time in a more useful way. But what?

School is still good for me. I'll be completing my dip soon, somewhere during mid year. Continue study or gain related work experience first?

I'm hitting 20 this year. I got so much which I want to achieve in my life that I wouldn't want to waste anymore time available. I know that humans will be thinking that I'm rushing myself, slowly take my time. But how much time do I have left? (So much things, too little time.) And how many things could go according as planned?

Maybe I should move on to a higher level in life. Take up challenges, see new things, learn more knowledge, gain new experiences, know new humans.

It's time for changes in life.

I'm no longer a little kid, where I could be pampered, always turn to Moma for cash or to get the things I want. I got to survive on my own cash limits, get what I really need. Though there are times where shopping gone out of control, but I do savings for future needs.

I'm no longer a naive teen, where daily routine is : go school - roam about with friends - home - play computer - sleep. Things are not as simple as how it's used to be. Late for lesson, skip school, talk back.. FAT HOPE! It's a total different situation in working life.

Many humans of my age, are most probably still in their study days.
Might be/ will be :
- Getting cash from parents
- Demand/request things from parents otherwise throw temper/ threaten not to study
- Spend like mother-fuckers
- No savings
- Often hang out with friends
- Club like nobody business
- Happy-go-lucky, even the sky falls they fuck-care
- Do comparison between friends and themselves
- Getting to be more brand conscious

Guess most of them still unsure what they want to do in future or expect in their life.

I would not say that my future is very clear, and that my doings are right. I do lose and gain along the way, I may fall and cry. Whine alot, complain more. But at the end of the day, I still stand strong alone facing my problems.

I smile at everyone who turns to me for comfort. I clear my ears to listen to their problems which maybe irrelevant to me. I shoo no one away. They come and they go when they need me or think of me.

However, I learnt to take a step back from all of them, and have my own time. Though I may feel bored, moody and lonely at times, but I feel so much better spending time at home.

Nothing matters more than myself, family and money.



Goodbye! I've done enough of nonsense speech(:


(P.S. If you're wondering what's that 1/4 face doing in the picture. It's actually my Moma's face. HAHA!)

Ginny thinks :
Anger begins with folly, and ends with regret.


Anyone Agree?

Millions Humans, Zillions Interest.

Whoever knows the love of others. I can never understand why some humans die-hard books addict, and those who hates reading books ;don't even want to have books at their sight, will call these humans as NERDS.

However, in "NERDS" eyes/heart/mind, Books are their everything - their passion/interest/hobby.

I seriously think that, It's just everyone for themselves in this living world. Because no one will ever understand your heart-mind-body wants or needs.

Almost everyone in my life, tell me that I'll regret my life if I go ink-ing. But I grew to realise that this is something that I really want to do in my life, it's something with great force and love attracting me for it.

It's not as if everyone loves to get their body poked by tiny needles thousands times and bleed. Yet still itch or even rash during the next few days. But it's a enjoyment to me, or maybe to those who love ink-ing too.

I did much consideration before I had my first tatt. It's lots of courage and killing of brain cells. Getting a tatt isn't just so simple. It's not like waking up in the morning and *snap*, you want an ink and you get it on that very day.

From the design to the colours. To the artist. To the area which you want the ink to be.

I will regret if I don't ink. I do think, I do know. Most humans first thoughts of inks are negatives - nasty, underworld, bad, uneducated.

Com'on, why not change a view to admire those inks?
You never know if your lecture or boss has an ink under those covered clothes.

It's a beauty, a story which the inked person is telling. An art that the artist did, a lifetime gallery.

Well, I guess not many do understand.

Anyway, below are the pictures taken at Tattoo Show. I totally felt like getting one on that day, however, my cash is running super low. I shall wait patiently for the next coming Tattoo Show and INKED (:

Byes!

Thoughts : Be direct, usually one can accomplish more that way.


Work, Tattoo Show, Family, CSC, Emo-ing, Yishun Dam, Animal Farm, Ignorance, Halo Bar, Drinking, Irritated, Studying, Puffing, Bugis, Exams, Emptiness, Chinatown, Movies, Kester, Jurong Pont, PSP-ing, Roaming, Brenden, Queensway, Stress, Star Viewing, Smiling, Lot 1, FatCat, Prawning, SIM, Shopping, Watch TV, NTU, Rotting, Sudoku-ing, Chatting


List of things/ place I've done or been to.
Super busy lately, so much to say but little time to share.

Read comments, however yet to reply (:

CNY coming but I didn't get any new clothes. No idea why am I not in the mood for this festive. Every year, I hate this day to come. I rather not getting any red packets..

Got to head back to work.. BUSY!




Before I go, I want to say I miss Little Angel. Haven been seeing her or talking to her for a week! She's busy with work, usual not around when I'm home. Even weekends I don't get to see her! My angel is missing.

Exhausted.
Could hardly breath or smile.

I told him :
In life you can never be too kind or too fair;
everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load.

Whatever the problem you have in your life,
Some day, Some how, you got to face it and overcome it.

Always remember "After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution." Don't give up, Don't feel lost. Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do or the changes you didn't make in your life.

It's time you change your living and be someone better. Don't turn back and be how you used to. *** , change yourself. No one can make the decision for you except yourself.

Don't spoil your life, I want to see the best of you.

You love art, go for it. I'll be your number one admire for your artwork.
If no one appreciate them, I do. Just don't give up on what you're going to do, work towards it. It's time to kick those obstacles off your dream path.

Your future is still waiting for you. Don’t paint it black, nor dark. Your future is sure to be bright and pretty.

I say, cause I care. *** , be a better person.

You're not alone. I'm here.


CHEER UP!


***


As a friend..
I really want to see him happier, like how he used to.
Just a pretty smile can fill my day with better spirits.

Prays. A brighter day for him, longing to see the change in him.

Pocket burnt. Argh!

Moma, get well soon.
Be a good girl, take your medicine. I love you.

Thought that Little Angel edit this picture damn cute.

Hectic Day.
Feels like fish on the fry.

Gona let down my hair and partye after next week :D


Before I go..
Here's some of my pretty moments spent on Xmas Eve with family.