I feel so low now, wiping my tears, clearing my nose, whining to myself.. as well as comforting myself.
Life really so tough, forces us to choose paths which we dislike, makes us no choice but to take that path.
Life worst enemy and partner is money. Everyone got that love/hate feeling towards money. Some work their whole life yet the return only sufficient for daily meals and bring up family. Some work so little, yet gets huge returns..
I am at the edge point now, placing my heart to search for what I want.. But things always dont turn out my way, it's always able to dream of but never a reality.
I love art, design.. colours.. drawing.. But mom spoilt my dreams. I followed her words, took up Supply Chain. And found out that the industry wasn't how I picture it to be.
Now school is all that I wanted, seriously want to get back to the table and chairs. Pen and pencil, projects and assignments, tests and examinations days. This fast changing world got no space for diploma, degree is like the expected education now. I want to move up higher, work harder.. But how?
Money is always the obstacle. Who is willing to dig that huge sum of money out for me. I swear when I start working I will pay back..
With all the bills and expenses coming in, I feel Mr. Boyfriend getting tense up and stress over money. I really dont want him to take the burden alone, yet I selfishly slowly decide on the jobs available just because I didnt want to spoil my career plans.
Maybe I should just take up whatever job that comes to be, even though I didnt like it, even though it will not be related to my long term career path.. For the sake of money, maybe I should just go for it.
I feel so lost, I wish I could ....